City of Wanneroo's Bullshit Christmas guide

[Anonymous]

#1617

This piece was in a monthly mag they publish so I fixed it.

Original
We Wish you a waste-less Christmas
Christmas will soon be upon us, and with the festive season comes time spent with family and friends.
While the holiday period is a time for celebration, unfortunately it creates a huge amounts of waste, such as wrapping paper cardboard and empty beer and wine bottles.
The city Encourages residents to cut down on their waste with these simple ideas.
-Make your own wrapping paper and gifts from recycled materials
-Buy artificial trees that can be re-used each Christmas time.
-Give experiences as Christmas gifts, such as skydiving or boating trips, rather than objects.
-Avoid single use plastics such as straws, cups, plates and cutlery, and use times made of paper, wood or bamboo instead.
-Plan Christmas meals to avoid food waste and then eat any leftovers on Boxing Day.
-Recycle all glass, even broken, but remember to keep it out of the green top domestic waste bin, as it contaminates the compost product that is made from your organic waste.

Enhanced
We Demand a waste-less Christmas
Christmas will soon be upon us, and with the festive season comes time spent with family and friends.
While the holiday period is a time for celebration, grievously it creates huge amounts of waste, such as wrapping paper cardboard and empty beer and wine bottles.
The city implore residents to supplicate to the following ideas.
-Use garbage as gifts, take your old junk and use to wrap gifts or create gifts.
-Buy petroleum based plastic trees instead of murdering real trees, they have feeling too.
-Give experiences as Christmas gifts, don’t buy material goods, time wasting gifts like a boat ride or skydiving bring people closer to death saving the planet.
-Don’t use single use plastics such as straws, cups, plates and cutlery. Serve food out of single long bowl in the middle of the table, avoid using your hands to save on water and soap.
-Don’t waste food, start getting used to rationing and only eating what you need at all times.
-Recycle all glass, all effort must be made to ensure even the smallest bit of a broken beer bottle is picked out of the dust bin and put in recycling bin. Recycling can only work if you do all the work, will be checking your bins and issuing fines on boxing day.

Now, I have zero standing when it comes to written English. If someone wants to add some edits or add their own bullet points of the original we might have post we can put up??

[Author]

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